Creeping indecisiveness infecting society

Make a decision already!

Purchase Creeping indecisiveness infecting society

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
~ Amelia Earhart

Stacey-LundgrenSALT LAKE CITY, Utah, Feb 20, 2015/ Troy Media/ – Here’s a true story about having lunch with a friend in a restaurant. After I chose the restaurant because she couldn’t decide what she was in the mood for, we finally sat down after an interminable discussion about whether we should sit in a booth or not. The waiter came by for our order.

I nodded to my friend to go first. “Gee, it all looks so good. I just don’t know . . . I like tuna melt sandwiches, but hmm . . . is it made of albacore?” The waiter: “I will ask the chef, Madam, and I’ll be right back”. She replied “No, that’s all right. How about the quiche? Is it popular?” He answered “Yes, it is. Will you order that?” My friend, “Um . . . gee, cheese is so binding. What is the soup of the day?”

Indecisiveness over lunch

At this point I was still calm. As a hint, I closed my menu and laid it on the table, indicating I have made my decision. ‘That will get her in gear.’

“The soup of the day is Lobster Bisque, Madam.”

“I see. Would that be Maine lobster?”

“Since we’re in Vancouver B.C., I doubt if the lobster is from Maine, Madam. Might I suggest the beef stew?” He acquired a bit of a snotty tone; I would tip him well.

“Stew? No, I prefer that my food be separate, not all mixed together.”

Indecisiveness a symptom of modern society

That was it. I excused myself and headed for the Ladies Room. I splashed cold water on my face thinking this is something I’ll laugh about in a couple of years. Killing time, I waved my hand over the red light of the towel dispenser and counted how long it took to get another towel. “One, one-thousand, two one-thousand” . . . I said a sort of prayer ‘Please, please help her to decide.’ Bored, I returned to the table.

The waiter was still there! “Madam, I have thought of the perfect lunch for you! It is our sampler platter that has a little of everything that makes this restaurant so popular. ” Yes, yes, there is sweat on his forehead. His hand shook a little. I felt vindicated in my near-breakdown.

“Great idea! I’ll have that. But wait, what about the sauces? Should I choose one?”

(We were so close! I almost banged my head on the table.)

“NO, Madam” said the almost giddy waiter “I’ll bring a sample of every sauce we have!” He started to leave, then halted mid-step realizing I hadn’t ordered yet. “I’ll have the ham on rye.” Tears came to his eyes. There are serious types of indecisiveness that have crept its way into society.

Consider the suddenly popular acronym “LGBT”, a part of which smacks of indecision. This is what I understand about the LB and T: It is apparently not a decision to be gay or lesbian. But it is a decision to be out and proud of who you are, rightfully expecting equal rights. Also, transsexuals don’t decide to be one gender inside and another outside. It takes courage to make the decision to surgically change into who you truly are meant to be. They deserve equal rights under the law. No argument there. Decisiveness is all over the LGT.

What’s with the “B” in LGBT?

But how did the “B” worm it’s way into LGT? I’ve read extensively about bisexuality; it boils down to the old phrase “going both ways”. A bisexual person is comfortable being in love with and having a sexual relationship with the same or opposite sex. So what? Where is the decision in that? Courage, none. Who would even know to violate these fence-sitters’ rights? If one of my five children told me he or she was bisexual, I would say “I love you very much and support all of your decisions. Now . . . make one!”

So you, “B’s” of LGBT, find yourselves a more suitable acronym You DO have a choice.

I just don’t get it. Do you?

By the way, when the waiter came hesitantly around for our dessert order. I answered with “check please”.

Stacey A. Lundgren is a professional speaker and anti-bullying expert. She is the author of the highly-rated book about teaching empathy to children, True Bucketfilling Stories: Legacies of Love. 

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16 Responses to "Creeping indecisiveness infecting society"

  1. MargaretRobinson   February 21, 2015 at 5:54 am

    An “anti-bullying expert” writes an article that bullies bisexual people. Lundgren’s lack of empathy and imagination doesn’t mean bisexual people are lacking in decision or courage. Shame on Troymedia for this time-wasting piece of trash.

  2. Ronete   February 22, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    The irony of an anti-bullying expert writing such an ignorant and nasty  article to illustrate her prejudice against bisexuals! She doesn’t know the first thing about them (or about lesbians, gays and transgender people, if you look at what she wrote). She’s also very lacking in empathy. Who knows why her friend found it so hard to decide. She never even bothered to find out, just expressed annoyance. Stacey, you’re a really unpleasant and ignorant person. I wouldn’t recommend you as an adviser or expert on anti-bullying to anyone. You’re just plain bigoted and a bully.

    What possessed Troymedia to publish such a horrible article?

  3. iansmagickoak   February 22, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    This is some kind of a joke, right? This is a failed article for the Onion? No?
    Then WTF am I reading? A more suitable acronym for what? Having more choices than you? This article smacks of not only bullying but siding with the monosexuals that call us all kinds of deplorable things in the name of making themselves feel better about themselves.

    “I just don’t get it. Do you?”
    Patently obvious by this horrible allegory you crafted, or should it be called a strawman? What is so hard to understand, that we can fall in love with any gender? No. it’s simply that you are uncomfortable with that reality and feel more comfortable telling us to “choose”. It’s as sick of a situation as the rich telling the poor to “get a job”, there is no though process involved. None. Just a conviction in your cankered soul that by demeaning what you don’t wish to understand you can…I don’t know really. I have no idea what you hope to accomplish.

    There is no reaching for understanding here. Just your portrayal of a long suffering, saintly woman that in truth is self-absorbed and myopic. Now I’m sure other bisexuals would want me to more politic and polite about this, but the entire article is neither of these things. You’ve painted us into a corner for your bigotry and that’s where I’ll confront you.

    What do want to know? That I see love as a universal constant and that the flesh is variable and unimportant? No, I doubt you give to damns about that because it can’t play into your world view.
    Do you want to know that On top of dealing with this nonsense from Lesbian and Gay Community(whom we outnumber in the lgBt community which WE started) we’re made to feel like third class citizens even when dealing with out own government? That we can’t expect to be invited to the White House without pointing out we’re being excluded? Or that the Pride festivals include grand marshals for all but us?
    No, you couldn’t possibly care about that.

    Well here’s a sum up. This way you can say at last that you “get it”. We choose love.

  4. Lynnette McFadzen   February 23, 2015 at 2:25 am

    Shame on you. An anti-bully book? From a bully? Shame on you. Since bisexuals are the largest population in the LGBT you just wiped out a whole lot a book sales….

  5. LauraHurt   February 23, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    So let me get this straight.

    You are a motivational speaker, and you think this piece of crap you wrote will motivate people to do what exactly?

    You are anti-bullying and your contribution is to completely discard a sexual orientation?

    You read extensively on bisexuality but all you learned from that is that bisexuals are fence sitters?

    As a matter of fact, you read about LGBT and you consider that an acronym that ‘suddenly’ is getting popular?

    ‘Apparently’ it is not a decision to be gay but it is definitely not a decision to be out and proud?

    Ma’m, can I do some motivational anti-bullying speaking here?

    Please try another occupation. You are not very good at the one you’re having now.

    I have been a bisexual all my life. There is nothing indecisive about me. I am very comfortable in making choices, even. I am very good in making choices, I tend to think, even.

    I am very very sorry that those choices go way over your poor tortured head, but that says something about you, and it really really really does not say anything about me. or about any other bisexual for that matter.

  6. Troy Media   February 23, 2015 at 1:16 pm

    Letter to the Editor:
    Ms. Lundgren calls herself an “anti-bullying
    expert,” but what she wrote about bisexuals in her recent article was a
    new low of biphobia I have never seen before. Everyone should know that this is
    what NOT to do when talking about bisexuality.
    Andrew Horn

  7. TroyBrooks   February 23, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    What is the point of this? 
    You use a bad metaphor for “picking a side” (big difference between choosing what to eat and being attracted to people)
    You claim that Bisexuality is a choice.  (Sounds just like a homophobe telling Gay people they “choose” the lifestyle)
    So we have an anti-bullying expert who has written a book on empathy, she shows this by having no empathy for Bisexual and trying to bully us out of the lgBt movement.
    Shame on you!

  8. Troy Media   February 23, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    Letter to the Editor:
    Bisexuality is an orientation, not a choice. 
    Daniel Mullins

  9. igregward   February 23, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    I don’t have to choose. The choice is already made that I’m bisexual. What else is there to explain?

  10. Troy Media   February 23, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    Letter to the Editor:
    When starting to write this letter, I honestly
    sat in my desk chair for 5 minutes in sheer disbelief of what I had just read
    and how to properly address it.This
    article is the most bigoted thing regarding bisexuals that I have ever read or
    heard in my life and is a shining example of biphobia and bisexual erasure.

    Scott Kirkwood

  11. adumbrodeus   February 23, 2015 at 5:32 pm

    Being LGBT is not about choice at all, not even about the choice to identify and be proud. It’s about orientation and recognizing what you really are. LGBT pride is about supporting LGBT individuals by celebrating our identity.

    This is science, sexual orientation is not a choice by anyone, straight, gay, bi, whatever, it’s all defined by what sex hormones activate our brain receptors.

    Since bisexuality is an orientation and is immutable, what you are really telling bi people to do is hide, to make a decision yes, but the decision to to pretend that we’re something we’re not in order to escape the criticism of small-minded bigots who think that we’re simply being indecisive instead of being proud of our identity about something that never was a choice. What you speak is the opposite of pride, it’s shame at being something that doesn’t society’s binary. 

    By telling us to make a choice, you preach hate and you are in part responsible for our society’s hatred which includes the escalated suicide rate of bi people even over gay people. A person known for her anti-bullying work should know better, but I guess it isn’t bullying if they “deserve it” because they’re “indecisive”. 

    What a horrible thing for a person who purports to be an anti-bullying expert to say

  12. SaritaRucker   February 23, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    I had two choices: admit to myself that I’m bi, or continue pretending that I’m something I’m not. For years I insisted to myself that I’m straight, but finally had to acknowledge that I’m bi.

    Believe it or not, I HAVE made a choice. I chose to stop lying to myself, and I’ve chosen to tell people what I really am. But I never chose to be bi, and if my sexual orientation were a choice there are times that I would have made myself monosexual simply because I’m tired of all the BS that’s thrown at us bisexuals.

  13. Lynnette McFadzen   February 23, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    SaritaRucker exactly

  14. ArinWilliams   February 23, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    Did a bisexual person spit in your cereal this morning? I don’t understand why you felt the need to write this, as though a person’s sexual orientation is personally harming you in some way. It’s hard enough for bisexual people to feel accepted by the LG community (Ts generally accept us, I find) without someone posting an article like this. And from a person who claims to be against bullying? I’m hurt and confused by this article.

  15. James Dominguez   February 23, 2015 at 10:06 pm

    LGBT “suddenly” became popular thirty years ago.

    My wife is one of the most decisive and strong-willed people I know. She’s been openly bisexual for her entire adult life. Maybe you should keep your prejudice to yourself next time instead of humiliating yourself and your friend?

  16. how dare you   February 24, 2015 at 5:48 am

    I literally only made an account on this website so I could comment.
    How dare you compare me to a ham sandwich on rye. I, have never been so offended in all my life. Make a choice? Do you think we’re trying to glorify ourselves or something? I’ve heard people saying that being bi is just getting what we can but THIS? This makes me sick.

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