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NEW YORK March 13, 2016/ Troy Media/ – Now that Prime Minister Trudeau has been feted in Washington, appeared on 60 Minutes and no doubt captured the hearts of TMZ, E! News and the rest of the real American media, it’s time to discuss the elephant in the room:
What’s wrong with Justin?
No human being, certainly not a leader in the earliest months of governing, can be as charming or put-together as l’enfant Trudeau appears to be – not while also dealing with the stresses of being dreamy, of being a perfect husband and of being a father to children much cuter and cleaner than our own.
It’s been almost five months since election day. This is when the bloom is supposed to come off the Trudeau rose and the harsh lights of morning destroy the soft-focused glow of the honeymoon night.
It’s not happening.
For goodness sake, even Queen Elizabeth II was reportedly delighted by our newly elected PM at their first meeting. The 89-year-old monarch fondly remembered meeting him as a child while he was in the company of his father.
For his part, Trudeau said to the Queen, “You had been much taller than me the last time we met.” It was easy to see the father in the son at that moment. It may not have been a pirouette but it was still a definite flash of PET’s quick wit and mischievous streak.
In between swoons and being hypnotized by his come-hither gaze, I finally figured it out; finally put my finger on the real concern with our prime minister:
Justin is just so darn nice.
I was feeling quite alone in my realization and revelation about the Trudeau niceness until Rick Mercer thankfully drove home the same point while discussing the White House state dinner on NPR.
“He’s just one of those guys who actually is quite likeable despite the fact that he’s tall, he’s handsome, he’s athletic, he was born with a famous last name, lots of money, nice teeth, charm, two languages. Usually, guys like me, you don’t like those guys because they were probably the people that picked on you in school. But he’s a nice guy.”
The depth of his niceness is not natural and decidedly suspicious. It makes me fear for the future and the well-being of children from coast to coast. I feel we may have entered a Twilight Zone alternate universe where the pod people lull you into a false sense of security by being unnaturally hospitable, caring and compassionate,
Before eating you.
Every other world leader suffers in comparison. Canada is basking in the reflected glow of having won the swimsuit competition in the global political pageant and we are going to enjoy it while it lasts.
And poor Stephen Harper – as if the man hasn’t suffered enough in being personally rejected by Canadians – but having Trudeau as his successor makes Harper, in retrospect, seem like some unholy spawn of Godzilla, Mothra and the Elephant Man.
I also believe that Canadians adore JT because it seems most of us have met him at some weird time or place. My own thoughts return to a late-night encounter as a university student at McGill. On a very snowy and cold Montreal night in 1984, I headed for a snack at the McDonalds near the corner of Ste. Catherine and Peel. The restaurant was almost empty.
No sooner had I started attacking my hamburger than in walks Pierre Trudeau and his sons – Justin, Alexandre and Michel. They collected their food and sat a table away. I immediately took note of the burly, plain-clothes Mountie who took a nearby seat.
I went over to Mr. Trudeau and shook his hand and expressed what must have been a typical, too-earnest sentiment of a teenager. The boys, as one would expect, barely looked up from their fries. Mr. Trudeau elbowed a totally disinterested Justin. “He’s a pretty nice guy, hey?”
For years, I thought Pierre Trudeau meant me.
Now I know he was talking about his son.
Gavin MacFadyen is a Canadian lawyer and journalist living in New York State.
Troy Media columnist Gavin MacFadyen is a Canadian writer and lawyer living in New York state. Gavin is also included in Troy Media’s Unlimited Access subscription plan.
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