Learn how to express your feelings in more productive ways and keep an explosive temper from hijacking your life
Anger doesn't have to hijack your life. Anger is a natural emotion that helps protect us from real (or imagined) attacks against our physical or emotional well-being. When used appropriately, anger can motivate us to achieve goals we would otherwise be too afraid or lazy to pursue. In this way, anger may not be a big…
Life is all about choices so if you're continually frustrated, you have chosen to remain that way
Have you ever been frustrated? Probably a time or two! Frustration isn't actually a problem for most people; it's what we don't do about it that's the problem. Frustration frequently leads to worry, anger, inaction, and stress. So who needs frustration? No one. While you probably can't avoid frustration, you can do something about it.…
Because they enjoy feeling powerful and they like it when their targets don’t stand up for themselves
I was once asked if it was true that 68 per cent of bullying is same-gender harassment. What a great question. I’ve always contended that girls can be more vicious than boys in many ways, especially when they are in middle school and high school. Unfortunately, it’s pretty much the same when they leave the…
Regular open and honest communication with your child’s teachers is definitely the best policy
While your kids are at school, it may be a good idea to think about the important, even essential, relationship you and your child have with those people responsible for your child’s education: teachers. As a parent, you want nothing but the best for your child. When it comes to academics, you know for a…
It's difficult to deal with idiots, but once you recognize the types you can build strategies to minimize their impact on your life
Life is a learning process: what works and what doesn’t; how to behave in public, with family and in the workplace; and especially what sort of people we want to be around and who we’d rather see sent to Mars. Even if it hurts to admit, we’re all guilty of behaving like idiots at times…
Bad neighbours are a fact of life, but before you end up in a feud, there are a few things you can do to find peace
Some neighbours are great. You visit over the fence, call when you need help and pitch in when the hard work needs to get done. But not all our neighbours are so fabulous. My son has a frustrating renter and a messy neighbour. The renter’s dog barks constantly. There are truck parts in the alley and somehow this…
Yelling, regardless of how much you want to, is not an effective way to deal with the issue and will only make things worse
Have you ever had to hold a difficult conversation, the kind in which you have to get across a message that is very likely not going to be well received? (No, I’m not talking about explaining to your spouse why you spent all your retirement money backing your favourite hockey team, although that certainly falls…
When you change the context in which a behaviour occurs, the behaviour itself is transformed
How we deal with objections and problems is often just a matter of how we frame those problems. Our ability to quickly thin slice information can keep us alive by allowing our minds to make rapid assessments. But although this ability to spot patterns unconsciously has evolved as a valuable gift to communication, it has…
We have a tendency to fixate on the most devastating of critiques, rather than focusing on the ones that offer honest, objective and useful feedback
Is it just me or do others find themselves overly fixating on criticism about their performance? I wasn't sure I had a thick enough skin after the first reviews came in when I began speaking professionally (and I was in law enforcement at the time). I prepared, practised delivery and made every effort to ensure…
Fear has the power to hijack our thoughts and behaviours, even when a new path makes sense or is harmless
I’m often fascinated by how rigidly some folks cling to the familiar, especially when it comes to being asked to do something novel. Not something dangerous – just unfamiliar. In my former career, this came up a lot, with leaders standing up in meetings and asking for “out of the box thinkers.” Then they would point…