Personality clashes happen. The solution is to address behaviour, set boundaries and stay professional

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Sooner or later, most of us end up working with someone we simply cannot stand.

It might be a colleague, a volunteer board member or someone on a committee. The meetings feel tense before they even begin. Every exchange seems loaded. And instead of focusing on the work, you find yourself bracing for the next unpleasant interaction.

That kind of situation is more common than people admit. But there are practical ways to manage the situation and protect your peace of mind.

The first step is to recognize that dislike is not unusual. Not everyone will get along, and workplaces often bring together people with very different personalities, communication styles and expectations.

What matters is how you handle it.

First, figure out whether the problem is simply personality or actual behaviour.

There is a difference between someone whose style irritates you and someone who consistently behaves disrespectfully.

Healthy workplaces and boards can tolerate disagreement and blunt debate. But belittling comments, constant interruptions or dismissive behaviour are not simply personality quirks. They undermine productive discussion.

If the problem is truly disrespectful behaviour, addressing it calmly and directly can make a surprising difference.

Instead of reacting emotionally, focus on the specific behaviour. For example, if someone frequently interrupts, a simple statement such as “I’d like to finish my point” can reset the tone of the conversation. If the behaviour continues, a private conversation outside the meeting may help clarify expectations.

Many difficult personalities rely on the fact that no one ever calls attention to their behaviour. Calm, neutral feedback often changes the dynamic.

Another useful approach is to use the structure already in place. Most volunteer boards and committees have chairs, agendas and basic meeting rules that keep discussions on track.

If someone’s behaviour repeatedly disrupts meetings, it may be appropriate to raise the issue privately with the chair and ask that meeting protocols be enforced. Clear speaking order and basic respect for the agenda can remove some of the personal friction from the situation.

Those rules help keep meetings productive. But structure alone will not eliminate tension if the conflict continues to occupy your thoughts.

Just as important is setting clear personal boundaries. When conflict with a colleague or board member begins to dominate your thinking, it can create unnecessary stress.

Before meetings, focus on the task that needs to be accomplished rather than anticipating conflict. Treat the interaction as task-focused and professional rather than personal. Reminding yourself that another person’s behaviour reflects their choices, not your worth, can help prevent resentment from building.

It also helps to resist the temptation to replay every negative interaction. When frustrations accumulate, it becomes easy to interpret every comment or disagreement as another personal slight. Keeping the discussion centred on the work helps prevent that cycle.

Maintaining that professional focus can also change how you see the interaction.

Even difficult colleagues sometimes contribute something valuable to the discussion. They may raise risks others overlook or challenge assumptions that would otherwise go untested.

Recognizing that possibility does not mean you suddenly like the person. It simply means acknowledging that professional relationships do not have to become personal friendships in order to function.

Finally, it is important to recognize when a situation requires escalation. If someone’s behaviour consistently undermines meetings or creates a hostile environment, it may need to be addressed formally through the organization’s leadership or board policies.

Persistent disruption is not something others should ignore.

Most of the time, the solution is straightforward: focus on behaviour, set clear boundaries and keep the attention on the work.

Workplaces and organizations rarely run on personal chemistry. They work because people maintain standards of conduct and stay focused on the task in front of them.

Learning to deal with difficult personalities is part of that reality, and a skill that will serve you well in almost every part of life.

Faith Wood is a professional speaker, author, and certified professional behaviour analyst. Before her career in speaking and writing, she served in law enforcement, which gave her a unique perspective on human behaviour and motivations. Faith is also known for her work as a novelist, with a focus on thrillers and suspense. Her background in law enforcement and understanding of human behaviour often play a significant role in her writing.